Red
by Why Are You My Clarity
Summary: "Loving him was like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street. Faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ended so suddenly."


**Red**

**(Songfic/Oneshot)**

**A/N: I really love this song, and I wanted to do an angsty oneshot for Bat. So, here you go. **

**Read and review. :) **

Italics: Song

Bold: Memory

Regular: Present

* * *

_Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street._

_Faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ended so suddenly._

**"That's not your natural color, is it?" An unfamiliar voice behind me caused me to turn around, and my eyes must have widened dramatically, because a smooth peal of laughter escaped the stranger. He was tall, with long, dark hair and olive toned skin. Yet, the darkest thing about him must have been the way he immediately made me feel. **

**'Dangerous', my mind supplied, 'He's dangerous. Run.' **

**"No," I instead laughed, "But, it looks okay, right?" **

**His hand reached out, and he pulled a lock of my hair between his fingers, flooding me with warmth, "I like it." **

_Loving him is like trying to change your mind once you're already flying through the free-fall. _

_Like the colors in Autumn so bright, just before they lose it all._

**"Cat, sweetie. Somebody is waiting out front for you in a pretty car." My mom called from the kitchen, earning me a look from my dad. He didn't have to say a word for me to guess what he was thinking, and so I hurried out of the room towards the front door, slinging my backpack over my shoulder.**

**It wasn't like I had to guess who it was. I knew it wasn't Jade, and I knew it wasn't Andre. **

**But, still, seeing handsome Beck Oliver leaning on the hood of his car with that sexy smile still sent a thrill of surprise and giddiness through me. A thrill I'd never felt before yet loved so much.**

**"Hi," My voice came out breathy, and I quickly cleared my throat and spoke louder, "Hi, Beck." **

**"Hey, gorgeous." He greeted me easily, pulling me into my arms and suffocating me in the most beautiful, magical way possible.**

_Losing him was blue, like I'd never known._

_Missing him was dark gray, all alone. _

The plane lifted off into the air, and I felt a slight gust of wind hit my face and lift my hair up and around my shoulders. Suddenly, it felt as if the entire world was collapsing around me. My surroundings swam in a fresh ocean of tears as I crumpled to the ground,

"No." My voice cracked when I spoke, but my friends remained silent behind me. "No, Beck. Come back."

Arms that felt as if they couldn't possibly belong to me somehow found their way around my torso, and I began to rock back and forth, the weight and the reality of what was happening suddenly registering in my brain.

"Beck," I cried, my cheeks flushed with hot tears, "Don't leave me."

_Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you've never met._

_But loving him was red, loving him was red._

"It'll be okay, sweetie." Tori draped an arm around my shoulder, "One day, you'll look back, and you'll barely even remember his name. Time heals everything."

"Just forget about him," Jade encouraged, patting my hand in a gentle way, something unusual for her.

Their words seemed distant and wrong, drowned by the sound of my sobbing.

"I can't."

_Touching him is like realizing all you ever wanted is right there in front of you._

_Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song._

**The doorknob seemed abnormally warm when my fingers wrapped around it to turn it, and the door seemed to open much too quickly. And then, there I was, standing before him in nothing but a towel. **

**A single, warm drop of water slid over the curve of my collarbone and then made its way down my stomach, reminding me that my hair was still a little damp from my shower. **

**"Cat?" His voice was soft. Surprised. **

**"I want..." My voice trailed off, coming out in a whisper and then cracking, "I want to. I want _you._" **

**He made his way towards me, the room suddenly growing hotter, and placed a hand on my cheek, cupping my face gently. His other hand hesitated above the knot that held my towel together, and I reached for it, pressing it against the loose tie and encouraging him. **

**"Touch me." I whispered, pleading with him. "I want you to know me. Completely." **

**And with that, he slowly untied the knot, and let the towel fall past my knees and down to my feet. After a sharp intake of breath, he looked to me with wet, sultry eyes, "You're so beautiful."**

_Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there's no right answer. _

_Regretting him was like wishing you never found out that love could be that strong._

The heat of the fire against my palms became too much, so I scooted away, watching the small, pink book melt into liquid nothingness. Feeling my heart fade until I felt empty.

"There," My voice sounded strange, and when I looked at Jade I didn't meet her eyes, "Now, now I'll be okay. It's like... The book, and all the memories, they never existed, now."

"Cat..." Jade's voice was soft.

"Now, I can forget him, right?" It didn't register in my mind that I was crying. How could I cry? I'd already cried so much. There shouldn't be anything left now.

_Losing him was blue, like I'd never known._ _Missing him was dark gray, all alone._

_Forgetting him was like, trying to know somebody you've never met. _

**"We need to talk." His face looked wrong. Unfamiliar. There wasn't any laughter in his eyes, no smile on his lips. He didn't pull me into a hug or kiss my forehead. **

**A sinking feeling coursed through me, yanking on my stomach and filling me with fear, "Do we have to? Right now?" **

**"Cat." His voice was somber, sad.  
**

**"Don't leave me." I broke down, feeling my eyes swarm with tears, "I can change. If I did something wrong, just tell me. Tell me how to fix it. Please, Beck." **

**"No," His voice cracked, and he blinked furiously at the ceiling, something he does when he's trying not to cry. "Cat, I'm moving. My mom just told me. We're moving to London. Next month." **

**"Oh." I suddenly felt relaxed, "Well, that's okay. Why are you so upset? A long distance relationship will be fine. I love you, and you love me. We're both almost out of high school. It'll be fine, right?" **

**"No." He remained quiet for a moment, letting that word sink in, "We both know long distance relationships don't work. I don't... I can't hurt you, Cat. I'm breaking up with you. It'll be best for both of us." **

**The air hitched in my throat, "Beck, no."**

_Remembering him comes in flashbacks, and echos. _

_Tell myself it's time now, gotta let go. _

His face lighting up on my phone screen filled me with an excitement I hadn't felt for so long that it hurt. Even though it'd only been a week since he left.

The clock read four a.m., but I hurried to answer anyways, my thumb nearly crushing the button that would bring his voice to me.

"Hello?" I choked, and my head hurt at the idea of crying.

"Cat." Beck's voice was soft. Broken.

"Hello." I repeated, lost for words.

Him, "I miss you." And, I could tell he meant it.

"I miss you too."

"Do you still love me?"

"Always. Do you love _me_?"

"I do."

"It hurts. Come back."

"I can't."

When I woke up again at nine, the call was still in session, but neither of us had the strength to hang up. Instead, I listened to the sound of his steady breathing, and wished I could move on.

_But moving on from him is impossible, when I still see it all in my head._

_Burning red! Darling, it was red! _

**The stars reflected in his eyes, and I felt as if this were a dream. I am Cat, and he is Beck. We're never supposed to say goodbye. Yet, here we are. **

**He stares at me for a long moment, and I stare back, my heart crumbling into millions of pieces that stab and poke and burn. **

**"I love you so much, Cat Valentine." He breaks the silence, and I wonder if he has the same fuzzy, burning feeling behind his eyes. I wonder if he's having trouble keeping from sniffling like a baby. **

**"I love you, too, Beck Oliver." My gaze travels to his hands, and it hits me how much I'll miss holding them. "Don't leave, please. I need you." **

**"I wouldn't leave you if I thought you wouldn't be able to handle it." He lifts my chin with one finger, "Because, I need you so much more, Cat. You made me better. This is a million times harder for me." **

**"Don't say that." I mutter, "Don't pretend it's not hard for me." **

**"I can't hug you." His voice is apologetic now, and it's nearly impossible to hold back my tears.**

**"Oh." **

**"If I did, I wouldn't be able to let go. And, my flight leaves in five minutes." His mom waits beside an entryway, trying not to look at us.**

**"So then, this is goodbye?" I wipe my nose with the top of my hands, and wonder if it's possible to snap in half. **

**"No." Tears run down his face, "No, it's not. There's this song I know, and it says, 'I'll see you when I see you.'" **

**I step away from him, and finish the verse, "And, I hope it's someday soon." **

_And that's why he's spinning round in my head, comes back to me burning red. _

_Yeah, yeah, Red._

I had a friend once, and she said to me,

"There are some couples who are just so beautiful that there's no way they'll last. They're so perfect, that they shouldn't expect anything but a tragic ending. It's like fate is lonely, and misery sure loves company. And, with couples like that, I don't think time heals anything."

Sometimes I wonder if she meant me and Beck.

_Cause Love was like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street. _


End file.
